So I want to announce that my Divorce Ebook, a No-Nonsense Guide To Divorce & Parenting is finally available for download BUT I also know that most of my followers are mainly here to see the food, fitness, fashion, and random life stuff that I share on a regular basis.
Therefore, I’m not going to make too big of a deal or discussion about the 30-page Ebook guide being available (right now for $6.99!) in the top menu bar of my blog.
When I started this blog over five years ago now, I wrote on the topic of divorce more frequently. Over the years, as I become further removed from the divorce process and details, it becomes harder to write daily on the subject. It’s not the first thing on my mind, my situation is no longer active, and really, it’s all SO much more in the past now, especially with the Bar Mitzvah come and gone.
Although, a girl never forgets!
I wanted to share a quick, personal story on revenge from the volatile time period in my life today.
It was June 2009 and evident my divorce was going to be moving forward (we had put it on hold for a year). My life was basically upside down but I went about my usual routine, like the gym (or an outdoor walk) in the morning, plus shopping and lunch with my good pal Lisa while my son was in kindergarten, just to keep that sense of normalcy amid what was looming. You know, things like an emotionally/financially nasty divorce process in court with lawyers, needing to sell my house (and move to where? good question) while also figuring out where my son would go to school in the fall (all based on when/where I moved). And oh, did divorce mean I needed to get a job?
I was in the car with Lisa (she was driving, I remember so clearly) and we were busy trying to come up with REVENGE. I wanted revenge so very badly.
Shrimp in the curtains. Yes. Shrimp in the curtains. That’s what Lisa found for me the night before as my revenge when she googled a combination of words that probably looked like “revenge for my friend getting divorced.”
While in the car, she told me all about the shrimp in the curtains concept (which was very funny) but we didn’t really know how we were putting the shrimp in curtains. The goal of this revenge concept was to put shrimp in the curtains to hurt the other party under the assumption that the shrimp would go bad and leave a smell that is impossible to remove from an entire house.
So which curtains? Certainly not in my house, that would hurt me! And another house? How was I getting in there to do it? I’m upset but not crazy. I cannot go breaking and entering with fistfuls of shrimp.
As we tried to come up with another concept for revenge because clearly we couldn’t do the shrimp in the curtains concept, Lisa stopped the car and said, “Your happiness is your best revenge.”
And that was that. We proceeded to go food shopping before picking up our kids from school. As much as it all still hurt, she was right.
Happiness is the best revenge.
The whole happiness is the best revenge became a positive mantra for me over those next few years and eventually landed me as a guest on Dr. Oz in 2013 on the topic of healthy revenge after divorce. I totally thanked Lisa for that.
A few reasons for sharing this story today!
1 – I’m always good for a story.
2 – Even in my worst moments, I always find something ridiculous to laugh about. Shrimp in the curtains?
3 – Divorced or not, everyone should realize that happiness is what we should be focusing on, not the negative and not revenge.
4 – My No-Nonsense Guide To Divorce & Co-Parenting focuses on helping others to understand how to pick your battles, accept situations and then deal with them in a positive way. Let go of the negative, it doesn’t help anyone!
While I do not share this shrimp in the curtains story in my guide, I do share a ton of useful information and behavioral tactics that can help others learn how to effectively communicate in difficult situations while taking a more positive approach to what usually becomes negative.
As stated in my introduction section of the guide (like a disclaimer), please remember that I’m not a lawyer, doctor, therapist, or mental health specialist. I’m just a girl who went through a nasty divorce and came out stronger than before. The advice I offer comes from my own personal experiences, based upon what I learned along the way which can really help not only with how you communicate but how to steer your emotions in a more positive light.
If you are going through a divorce (or know someone going through the process) and/or need emotional help with co-parenting, I do think my guide can be a really helpful resource! It’s an easy read, divided into sections that can be read at any time, without needing to read from cover to cover. So for example, if you just want to refresh yourself quickly on how to effectively communicate without losing your mind, you can turn to that section and read only about that or if you have a day where you need additional help with speaking to your children, you can turn only to those pages.
Let me know if you have any additional questions at all related to the Ebook or to divorce/co-parenting in general! 🙂Quick story on revenge plus info on my Divorce Ebook being available! #divorce #revenge #parenting #coparenting #health #mentalhealth #divorceebook Click To Tweet