Recently I told you that I have really let go of caring about what I eat which maybe you remember me saying. Or maybe you can just tell over the last year or so that I just don’t follow any type of meal prep, meal planning or regular food pattern anymore? Aside from breakfast of course!
It’s not like I don’t have my moments when I suddenly say, WOAH.
Am I eating a lot more than I used to eat?
Does it matter that I NEVER measure my food? I mean, I haven’t done that in years but is my hand too heavy with the peanut butter?
You know, I eat out a whole lot. There’s a lot of dessert and even wine that happens fairly often. I think there are people who choose wine OR dessert. Am I supposed to pick wine or dessert? I always choose both.
And since I haven’t been on a scale in years, these thoughts appear sometimes too.
What do I even weigh these days? What if it’s significantly higher than it was a few years ago? Wait. What did I even weigh a few years ago?
Is what I’m eating going to add up at some point? Is it adding up now? Do I not even notice that it’s adding up?
Then there are times when I catch an old weekly workout recap post and notice I used to run a lot more miles on a regular basis than I am running now.
How did that happen? Why am I okay with running less now? Am I supposed to care about calories in terms of burning them or not burning them? Why don’t I ever think about calories burned while running?
Most of the time, none of this bothers me. I live my life and don’t think twice. If these thoughts happen, it’s during my PMS week. PMS alters my brain to think about things that it normally wouldn’t care to explore and also has the ability to put me on an irrational course. I have realized this though and try not to take myself too seriously during this time.
No matter what pops into my mind or when, I always follow the thoughts with what I will NEVER do. That’s the thing with me – it’s never about what I will do if have thoughts like this, it’s what I know I will never do again!
What I will never do:
I have no intention of EVER owning a scale again. Living my life by a fluctuating number on a scale is a miserable way to live. Since I will never give up running or a workout routine and know how to eat nutrient dense foods and cake on a balanced basis, there’s really no true reason to worry about gaining weight to the point where it will ever need to be monitored. A scale might be good for some but I can’t see it ever being good for me.
I will never go hungry. Was there a time when I used to wait for lunch or dinner time to hit so that I could satisfy my appetite? Like, did I ever let myself walk around hungry because it wasn’t a meal time yet? I can’t even imagine that feeling now. If I am hungry, I don’t really care if I just ate or it’s not lunch time. I am going to find my way to food.
I will never measure my food. I do not like to feel limited and I certainly don’t understand paying attention to the serving sizes for most of what I eat anyway. Who measures out vegetables? Why? Measuring reminds me of restriction. I do not do restriction.
I will never use calorie tracker apps. In all honesty, the time when I tried using My Fitness Pal back when it first came out is also the time I didn’t get my period for several months. Clearly tracking my calories is not a good idea for me and I really can’t imagine every counting a calorie again.
Let’s talk a little bit more about using a scale.
When I stopped using a scale many years ago, I relied on my clothing as my weight/size monitoring system. For the longest time, the mindset was, if things stayed the same (or got big), I was doing well.
We are so trained to think that the only way we know we are doing well is to see the number on the scale go down and for our clothing to get big.
But that’s not really an accurate way of thinking.
For example, I have a cute pair of jean shorts (with rhinestones on the pockets 🙂 ).
I’ve had them for five years and recently decided that maybe they were fitting a little different.
Different would usually mean something changed. I don’t like change.
Yet this time, I noticed that my cute pair of jean shorts had a different fit that was a good different. Not in the falling off different but in the wow these shorts fit me better than ever in all of the right spots different.
This different fit was symbolic for the good balance between eating, living, running and Pure Barre I have going on, without needing to know what I weigh or monitor what I eat every second.
I really do believe that our bodies have a happy, set point range and it doesn’t need me to constantly try to control it.
Maybe for a little while we can monitor every morsel and expend every calorie possible to be under our set point but that is not the way to live. It’s not healthy and definitely not carefree.
Life should have a certain level of carefree, don’t you think?
Posts Of Interest:
So I feel like I talk about this stuff fairly often and probably repeat myself in the process. However, these conversations are important for so many reasons! Sometimes we need to hear things over and over as reassurance and reminders and sometimes, people miss a post on the subject so it’s worth sharing again. Feel free to also check out my Amenorrhea section and as always, contact me if you have any questions!What happens when you stop caring about what you eat #bodyimage #disorderedeating #health Click To Tweet
Are you someone that steps on a scale every day?
Do you plan out your meals or wing it most of the time?