Going through photos, I don’t care, rebelling from life (TOL)

thinking out loud

I spent an hour going through photos for the Bar Mitzvah montage the other night. I am nowhere near completion with this task as narrowing down my son’s life in pictures to only 160 photos is not easy.

This picture sorting process is also not easy on the emotions, not only because I see that sweet little baby face wondering where the time went but also because I am reliving my past and the life I had before my divorce.

It’s as if the pictures have this invisible life stamp that screams out to me, PRE-DIVORCE! and then there’s POST-DIVORCE!

Even worse are the photos with the invisible life stamp for the time period of pictures that weren’t quite pre-divorce but not yet post-divorce and that stamp says something like, WHAT IS GOING ON IN MY LIFE?!

I came across this picture (pre-divorce, very pre-divorce) which is really indicative of my mommy life back when my son was a baby.


Messy hair, disheveled appearance and a baby in the jogging stroller that I bought because it had a fun steering wheel, not because I was going to use it for running. Ha, running? Who had the energy for running?

I prayed this jogging stroller was going to solve all of my problems. That FUN steering wheel was somehow going to entertain my active baby so much that he would want to sit and play, get tired from all of the FUN and then fall asleep. Never happened. Not once. What usually happened? I set out for a walk, made it down the block before carrying him and pushing the stroller home.

Of Possible Interest: How Pregnancy & Motherhood Affect Your Running Routine

I need this shirt. I am not sure if I am too old for wearing smiley faces but the I don’t care part with the simple smiling face is just perfect for me. Perfect.

In fact, I want to purchase three of these shirts so that my friends, Heather and Meaghan, can wear the shirt too and we can be a new and improved generation of Mean Girls.

On Wednesdays we wear our I Don’t Care shirts.

wildfox shirt

Now that I am thinking about the line, On Wednesdays we wear pink, I bought pink Ralph Lauren bath towels at HomeGoods and I am convinced they are not the same quality as the department stores. The pink has faded big time after only one wash. Yes, it’s possible that my laundry skills are to blame. But still, I question HomeGoods quality.

Can someone please come clean out my refrigerator? And maybe the freezer too? I don’t know what is going on in there but I stopped caring.

You know how else I know I have stopped caring? I am kicking off my running shoes without untying them first.



I am rebelling from life in the worst sort of way right now.

thinking out loud #runningshoes #idontcare #meangirls #barmitzvah #montage #divorce Click To Tweet

My site is acting all nutty so typing one more thing is getting challenging. No questions today in an effort to just get this post live!



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  • Susie @ SuzLyfe June 23, 2016, 7:00 am

    Going through photos is always a weird experience. I have pictures that I look at and am like pre Crohn’s/post Crohns or pre Alex/post Alex. The pre/post Alex ones I just feel like I look like I am trying much “harder.” After Alex? Chill.
    Susie @ SuzLyfe recently posted…Tips for Safe Running in Hot WeatherMy Profile

  • Morgan @ Morgan Manages Mommyhood June 23, 2016, 7:22 am

    As a child of divorce, going through childhood photos can we weird for the same reason. My parents divorced when I was 10 and there is a very distinct difference in the photos. Also, dead at your mommy picture, because with a 2 year old and a 3 month old, that’s basically where I’m at. I’ve given up on trying to get my kid to chill in a stroller, though my car and truck loving boy would probably die of happiness with that one!
    Morgan @ Morgan Manages Mommyhood recently posted…Seeking Advice: Kids and MoneyMy Profile

    • The Cookie ChRUNicles June 23, 2016, 9:54 am

      my son was so antsy it wasn’t easy to keep him quiet and happy in the stroller! although I was very strict about it when we were at the mall – I never let him out because I knew if I did, he would NEVER sit. eventually he got much better at it but that wasn’t until he was almost too old to sit in there lol

  • Gretchen June 23, 2016, 7:58 am

    I used to work at Marshalls, which is owned by the same company as TJ Maxx and Homegoods, and the quality is kind of the same as the department stores. We get the same stuff, but it’s things that either didn’t sell that well, are out of season, or occasionally have a manufacturing defect. Maybe those towels had a defect and that’s why they were at Homegoods?
    Gretchen recently posted…Dan’s Journey to Health: An IntroductionMy Profile

    • The Cookie ChRUNicles June 23, 2016, 9:53 am

      it’s possible! would make sense. ralph lauren towels usually wash very well

  • Laura @ This Runner's Recipes June 23, 2016, 8:16 am

    I need that shirt also.
    Like Susie said, pre Ryan photos I am way too done up, way too uptight. There’s a notable change once he came into my life, a good one. And then pre Seattle and post Seattle photos are different, both in scenery and just how satisfied with life both Ryan and I look in them.
    Laura @ This Runner’s Recipes recently posted…The Importance of Actionable Steps for Improving Your RunningMy Profile

  • Amanda @ .running with spoons. June 23, 2016, 9:42 am

    I’ve always wondered if the quality was worse in places like Homegoods. I’ve had issues with quite a few things that I’ve gotten there, so I’m thinking they get all the leftover stuff that doesn’t sell or has something wrong with it. And going through pictures always feels strange…
    Amanda @ .running with spoons. recently posted…the golden milk experiment & what am i supposed to do now?! (ToL#188)My Profile

  • Michele @ paleorunningmomma June 23, 2016, 10:07 am

    Couldn’t get to your site this morning but glad it’s here now! I can’t wait to catch up with you as I feel like I’m rebelling from life too 🙂
    Michele @ paleorunningmomma recently posted…New Foods, New Recipes, and Current Thoughts on Paleo (TOL)My Profile

  • Sarah @pickyrunner June 23, 2016, 10:16 am

    I’m so bad about untying my shoes before I take them off. Tim used to yell at me about it all the time haha I’m just so lazy with that sort of thing. LOVE that shirt. I stopped caring about what others think a long time ago. I haven’t gone through a life-altering divorce or even a traumatic breakup before (thankfully) so I don’t have the same experience,but it’s so interesting to see how there’s such a clear different pre and post divorce for you! That’s a good idea for a post, too!
    Sarah @pickyrunner recently posted…Find Your CommunityMy Profile

  • Alyssa @ renaissancerunnergirl June 23, 2016, 10:52 am

    Love that shirt and I don’t think you can ever be too old to tell the world that you’re you and proud of it and don’t care about what anyone else thinks of that 🙂
    Alyssa @ renaissancerunnergirl recently posted…WIAW #61: Simple Summer EatsMy Profile

  • Ellen @ My Uncommon Everyday June 23, 2016, 11:30 am

    Looking through old pictures is such a weird experience. I always notice the shift in who is in the pictures, and that brings up a whole bunch of memories. There’s a lot of good stuff there, but also a lot of buried “ick”. Aaand I need that shirt. Love.
    Ellen @ My Uncommon Everyday recently posted…Thinking Out Loud #53My Profile

  • Emily June 23, 2016, 4:29 pm

    I love cleaning out refrigerators… Is that weird? 😀

  • Suzy June 23, 2016, 5:29 pm

    You had me at “rebelling from life.” Let’s meet in one of the middle states and get drunk and throw eggs of a bridge together.

    I’m avoiding the baby pictures right now just because of all the really horrible stuff going on with my teenager. If I see his little baby face, I will legit lose my mind.

    I love how we have these huge hooters in our kids’ baby pics. If only we could keep them! Well, *I* didn’t, anyway. 🙁 Boooooo.
    Suzy recently posted…The Bile High ClubMy Profile

    • The Cookie ChRUNicles June 24, 2016, 4:59 am

      I always wanted to check out a middle state so let’s do it when you get back from mexico! I hope you have a great trip and things look up with your son!

    • The Cookie ChRUNicles June 24, 2016, 5:00 am

      and lol – I noticed that in this picture – I don’t think I ever realized mine were so big, I was nursing so that’s why! they were gone in flash a few months later

  • Renee June 23, 2016, 8:36 pm

    Going through old photos is always weird, I have phases…Super fat, figuring it out, super skinny and happy. I also have sub-sections before marriage, before kids and after kids. And now I feel l should add a “running around like a crazy woman with my kids sports” LOL!
    Renee recently posted…Keeping up with the Benda’s {Thinking Out Loud}My Profile

    • The Cookie ChRUNicles June 24, 2016, 4:58 am

      I love your categories! and yes to the running around with their sports! lol