You Never Sleep Again

Shh. Don’t make any noise because we can’t have the birthday boy wake up before I have made his birthday cake pancakes.

Do I even want to discuss that my baby is eleven?

15 months old

Two more years and we have a Bar Mitzvah on our hands? How did that happen?

I will forever say that I didn’t sign up to be single mom but you know what? It’s all okay.

This little boy and I are the best of buddies and have been since day one.


Our bond was probably made even stronger after the divorce which technically made us our own little family yet I will never rely on him as the man in my life.

I make it a point to raise him to be independent of me and really, me of him.


Although he has made for a terrific dining partner ever since he was two weeks old and the doctor said it was okay if  I exposed him to restaurants and ice cream parlors, I do make it a point to encourage him to go out with his friends and spend as much time with his dad as possible whenever he wants even if it means I am home without plans of my own.

And I must be doing something right because recently he even told me that should I never remarry, I don’t have to worry about living alone when I am older because I can come live with him and his family.

His future wife is going to be so thrilled about that arrangement.

I considered doing one of those posts like “11 Things I Have Learned As A Mom” or “11 Things My Son Has Taught Me” when in reality, there is only one major thing I have learned since October 6, 2003….

You never sleep the same again after having a baby.

At first it is because babies are up all night looking to nurse and torture you with that insatiable screaming sound while all you want is to sleep for one hour straight.


DO NOT let this sleeping face fool you. The kid was a monster, especially during those first few weeks. His eyes were closed in that Fisher Price Ocean Wonders Bouncy Seat completely by accident.

As they get out of the infant stage, you are one part asleep one part awake because you live by the sounds of the baby monitor analyzing each and every breath, sigh, cry, hiccup, half happy sound/half about freak out and scream along with the noise which is made when they are trying to climb out.

You do get to a point where they are sleeping through the night but it’s so quiet that you are up wondering if someone has stolen them out of their crib even though the house alarm is set and the baby’s room is on the second floor.

You can’t rid yourself of the image of a bad guy somehow bypassing the alarm and climbing a ladder up the front of your house and through the window so you must get up to check that all is okay.

Please tell me you had these thoughts too.

  benji sleeping

And when you see that no one has broken into your house and that your baby is really asleep, you then check to ensure they are breathing.

As they get older you sleep with one eye open because at any moment someone will be coming in to tell you they are just up to go to the bathroom, up because their ear hurts or you are on alert to hear someone about to vomit on the carpet and you need to go running with the bucket.

And the one time you by accident fall into a good sleep?  It’s like they have radar because they come marching in a minute after you hit the  REM cycle which is so much worse than having not slept at all.

I mean, you can’t even sit down to rest at all until the countdown to bedtime is complete and you know that you have tucked them in for the evening.

We have now reached the point however in his tween life where I tell him I am the one done for the night and march myself into my bed which allows him to put himself in his bed when he is ready.

This was a lovely concept until the night when I heard that darn basketball bouncing around the den while I was trying to watch Kardashians from under my covers even though I said no ball playing the house.


This makes me insane in case you are wondering.

And if I manage to fall asleep without anyone interrupting me or worrying that someone stole him from his bed?

I wake up because I am the one who has to use the bathroom and then I decide it’s time to start to worry about the days which are fast approaching where he will be out with his friends actually driving cars themselves and I will have to wait up. holding my breath until the second he walks back in the door.

Don’t even get me started on the fact that ten years from this very morning, my baby will be 21, most likely not home for birthday pancakes and oh my goodness, probably first arriving to wherever he calls home (or OMG some girl’s dorm room or something) after a night of birthday drinking.

I think I need to stop this thought process and switch over to happy thoughts….like cake.

welcome baby cake

The first ever cake in honor of the birth of my baby boy which I barely remember eating because I was that sleep deprived.

You can be sure I will enjoy tonight’s custom-ordered birthday cake which I can’t wait to show you once I pick it up later this afternoon.

Fingers crossed that all of my crazy cake details and requests are understood by the cake maker.

benji birthday party

The best thing about all this birthday reminiscing is that I have a ton of cute pictures all ready for the Bar Mitzvah party montage.

Time to go make the pancakes…Have a great Monday!


If you have children, were your kids up all night as babies?

Can you guess where I ordered the birthday cake from?

Best dessert you had all weekend?

Follow on Bloglovin


  1. says

    Oh my…. I have a month and a half for this. Eek! Braiden woke up until well after one years old. Scarlet slept through the night at 4 months but when we brought her home she had days and nights mixed up. She was up all night for a week and that was plenty to drive me crazy. I remember rocking her and just crying because I was so tired.
    Ashley @ Kickashmom recently posted…Finally fallMy Profile

  2. says

    So my mind just stopped once you said birthday cake pancakes………as much as I loved your happiness and pride that beams out about your not so little one, all I can think about is birthday cake pancakes! Please send me a picture! YUM! oh, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I am sure he will be equal parts embarrassed, and so happy he has such a wonderful mum!
    Tina Muir recently posted…Meatless Monday- Vegetable and Sweet Potato CakesMy Profile

  3. Shannon says

    That’s so great that you two are so close! I can’t imagine having kids at this moment, but the sleep deprivation is not something I look forward to when the time does come. Happy birthday to him.

  4. says

    Awwwrs 🙂 Happy Birthday to Benji! I love that you guys are so close. It reminds me of the relationship I have with my own parents, which I’m pretty sure is a result of the fact that it’s just the 3 of us here, so we don’t really have any other family to give attention to. And now you’re totally making me feel bad for all those times I was out until 4 AM and my mom was at home worrying. Eep. It’s gonna come back and bite me in the ass one day, I swear…
    Amanda @ .running with spoons. recently posted…. link love 10/5 .My Profile