Head Out of the Sand

My run yesterday morning started out terrible. That first mile felt like forever.

My legs were screaming to stop. But I didn’t stop. NOPE.

You see, I know the difference in the kind of screams that come from my legs. Sometimes the screams are legitimate and need to be listened to immediately.

And then sometimes, my legs give out a cry simply because they need to get into their groove and would feel just fine after a few minutes.

Kinda like infants, toddlers and all children as they grow up: There is a difference in their cry.

I learned this when the little boy was a baby.

The kid was a monster I tell you. And I can comfortably announce this to the world because I openly tell him quite often that he was a true monster and oh so hard to deal with during those first few months of his life.

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You see what I mean about the balls? He has been aiming for me since he learned to grasp.

He cried, screamed, made sounds I can’t even describe in words just because it was what he did the second I gave birth to him, even when nothing was wrong and there was nothing I could do for him.

As parents we cannot run to every sound our kids make. There is a difference in their sounds. Some cries are for hunger, some cries signify true attention is necessary and then there are those cries that are cried just because they feel like it and want attention.

We need to know the difference in these sounds otherwise our kids learn that if they cry, we shall come.

Same applies to our legs: if we cave in to every single little wimper they give, they will never learn to adapt to running.

I learned this  lesson the hard way with the little boy. I think I ran to him way too quickly just because I didn’t want him to cry-  I didn’t  like listening to it and didn’t realize that if you leave them for an extra minute (assuming they are in a safe place), nothing will happen.

It took me time to learn which sounds to ignore – especially the ones that came at night. All night long.

Ironically enough though, I always had a knack for ignoring things. Head in the sand if you will.


I don’t often discuss my divorce on this blog but it happened and it was very real and not pretty.

There are times in life where things go wrong and need to be dealt with, and for me, when my divorce was looming, my head stayed nicely in the sand where ignorance can be beautiful bliss.

I think for some the head in the sand approach is a coping mechanism. Which is fine for a bit I guess but eventually, and sooner rather than later, one must pull themselves out from the icky sand and deal.

I have learned since then that dealing with life’s unpleasantness, as hard as it is, can actually help you learn some wonderful lessons, growing stronger from the experiences which can only help shape your future in a positive manner.

Currently I have a close friend going through a bit of a health scare. I am one of the few people she will discuss it with in detail because I am easy to talk to and keep the convo light YET REAL.

We joke that our discussions about the health issue  are conducted with our heads OUT of the sand.

We use the “C’ word often in the conversation rather than avoid it like the plague. We discuss all of the scenarios rather than pretend it may be “nothing”.

Deep down I am pretty sure this is simply a scare and hopeful that it will turn out to be nothing, but, in the case that it isn’t “nothing” at least we didn’t turn a blind eye or keep our head in the sand regarding the real negative possibilities.

I guess my point today people is that life has many ups and downs, signs, signals and situations.

True strength comes from learning how to decipher what we can blissfully ignore and what we need to deal with standing upright.


If you have kids, did you run to every sound they made?

Did you let them cry at night in an attempt to get them to learn to sleep?

Do you consider yourself a “head in the sand” type of person?



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  1. says

    very thought-provoking post. With my 1st born, I WANTED him to be in a crib in his own room at the appropriate time, but he was in our bed for the long haul….so I was more concerned that I was going to smother him in my sleep. ugh! There was nowhere to run to get him as he was right there. But in general with him and our other children as they were eventually in their crib yes we came running early if they didn’t fall back asleep quickly. It definitely is difficult to use your brain and not your heart in those situations but you spell out they right way to do things very well here. Thanks for your post and I hope next time I run up that hill near home on Long Island I understand the real and fake cries from my legs 🙂

  2. EZTWINS says

    Thank you so much for this heartfelt and inspiring post. I always tried to let my kids cry (within reason). It definitely helped teach them the skill of self soothing and falling asleep on their own. In the early days it wasn’t easy!

  3. says

    Aw, I’m glad you pushed through your run, first off. Secondly – I agree with all the points in here. It’s easy to stick your head in the sand and ignore what’s happening around you, in any situation, because it’s simply easier than dealing with things head on. However, as you said, eventually you’ve got to man up, as I like to say (haha sexist, i know!) and just face it head on. Ignorance is definitely bliss, but bliss doesn’t always last. 🙂 I hope your health scare with your pal is nothing serious, but I’m glad you guys are able to discuss it freely.

  4. says

    This is such an honest post. I love the way you transitioned from something small to something big picture, with very real and difficult examples in between. I’m a very honest and blunt person and I’ve never been one to ignore what’s truly going on. Shit’s going to suck and you can either deal and get past it sooner or hide and dwell later. I’m glad you and your friend are taking an open approach to this scare. It reminds me a lot of the movie 50/50. If you haven’t seen it, you should watch it. It’s a great movie with a great approach to dealing with cancer. I hope your friend is ok. S/he is lucky to have you.