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Guys Don’t Like Girls Who Are Too Thin

 

Guys don’t like girls who are too thin.

It’s the truth. Ask them. They will tell you.

So why is it that girls feel they must maintain a sickly thin figure in order to be attractive?

Where does this mindset come from?

While I know it’s important to love yourself and not care what others think, let’s be real.

Girls like to feel attractive and will do what they can for guys to notice.

NEWSFLASH!

Guys like girls who have a shape. They don’t want you to be rail thin with no figure.

Guys want girls who have some meat on their bones. They want to go out to eat with you and see you enjoy your meal, not pick at lettuce or say you can’t share dessert because you are full.

Guys basically want you to be everything you seem to be fighting against.

I have honestly never been someone to care what anyone ever thought of me so listening to the opinions of others was never high on my radar. However, there have been a few times when guys that I know have told me when I was looking too thin.

At first, I didn’t really see or hear what they were saying but eventually it clicked one day and made a whole lot of sense. I even think I am a better person with an even more balanced outlook because of it.

I want to share their opinions with you in my attempt to help you to see that you don’t need to keep starving yourself to maintain an unhealthy, unrealistic and unattractive figure.

You don’t need to worry so intensely about your calorie burn or keep monitoring the scale.

The likelihood is that the numbers on the scale that you are so desperately fighting are the same numbers that would actually give you a cute and desirable shape.

guys don't like girls who are too thin

Guy #1

Let’s start with this story from oh, 2012 – 2013. My friend was (and still is) a major health and fitness buff. When I belonged to Lifetime, I would see him at the gym on a regular basis. He was dedicated to his spin and yoga routine and ate a super healthy diet.

Many would call him a jerk, a charmer, a real ladies man if you will. He is brutally honest and has a wandering eye. This description doesn’t sound too nice but it’s the truth. That’s him.

Out of nowhere one day when I was on the treadmill, my friend came to talk to me (probably to tell me who he was newly dating while still dating the spin instructor – don’t ask) and the first thing he said was, “you are looking way too thin.”

Who would have thought that this guy would ever find any girl too thin?

But see, that’s the mindset, right? We think guys never see girls as too thin.

But they do.

And he was right, I was too thin. I had lost some weight after switching to a meatless diet. It was not intentional but it happened. As I lost some weight, I lost my shape and MY PERIOD and clearly, it was noticeable.

Guy #2:

This guy has been in my life for a super long time. Never one to share much of an opinion, he did tell me a few years ago that I needed more meat on my bones.

I didn’t agree with him as I definitely had meat on my bones and had been taking Pure Barre classes on the regular for a few months at this point.

He wasn’t totally right but he wasn’t wrong either. It took some time for me to totally regain my shape and look stronger after being too thin in 2012-2013.

Are you following along here? Life isn’t about being so thin that you can wear the smallest size available.

Guys don’t care about that! They want to see shape, figure and substance to your body!

Women are supposed to have curves!

Guy #3

This guy in particular holds the most weight (no pun intended) because he has told me over and over AND OVER how much BETTER I began to look once Pure Barre was kicking in to my appearance.

So often he reminds me how thin I had looked one night when wearing jeans in 2013, how my legs were barely there.

Never in my life would I have considered my legs to be barely there but I think he was right! I still wear those jeans today, only now I fill them out nicely. 🙂

His honesty and constant open discussion on this topic has probably helped me to fully grasp and understand the other opinions I had received over the years.

The sincerity in his words that explain how great I look now as opposed to then sticks with me every single day, including when I put my old jeans on and notice that different fitting feeling. I no longer have that moment of caring about it and I think I owe it to him.

Guy #4:

This guy adds an interesting twist to this post because he is the only one to think I was fabulous when I was too thin.

Why did he think this way? Probably because he was disordered himself! He went to the gym every single day for 3 hours a day, taking MAYBE one rest day every few months and only because of illness.

He was not a muscle head or healthy eating nut, just a guy who was obsessed with his workouts and appearance.

It is no surprise to me that his ex-wife is a compulsive exerciser, working out for a couple of hours in the morning and then again in the afternoon. Rumor has it she has a bike set up in her living room so that she can peddle while she watches television. Plastic surgery is not foreign to her either.

Important note:

There are no images in this post on purpose. I started to go through my old photos but realized that sharing them may cause too much comparison and possible triggering. That’s not good for anyone.

This post is meant for my reader friends who struggle to see that gaining needed weight back is more than okay. It is for my reader friends who struggle to realize it’s okay to eat and not be sickly thin. That it’s super okay and actually more desirable to have a real figure rather than struggle to maintain a too thin and bony appearance.

I still remain strong in believing that we must love and value our own opinions of ourselves above anything but sometimes, we don’t see what others see and maybe we should.

This does not mean we should tolerate people who put us down or criticize our appearance. There is absolutely no room in life for people like that. 

You are the company you keep, remember that.

Guys don't like girls who are too thin #health #disorderedeating #bodyimage #toothin Click To Tweet

Thoughts on this subject?

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{ 14 comments… add one }
  • Lisa @ Mile by Mile February 21, 2017, 5:23 am

    Im not sure if I have ever been at the point where I was too thin, but if I was I hope someone would have told me. I do think there were times when I wasn’t nourishing myself well, but I don’t think that was really visible from the outside. I think this is a difficult subject because just because you look a certain way doesn’t always mean you aren’t eating in a way that is healthy for you body. It sounds like for you there were big enough changes that those guys knew something was up, but for others that just may be what is right for them.
    Lisa @ Mile by Mile recently posted…Three Running WishesMy Profile

    • The Cookie ChRUNicles February 21, 2017, 5:36 am

      yeah, there’s definitely a difference. unfortunately I am encountering way too many girls who are making themselves too thin and unhealthy in the process so hopefully I can continue to help them with my posts!

  • Suzy February 21, 2017, 8:46 am

    I really like the italicized stuff you wrote at the end. I know that most women who read this will relate to this post and find relief knowing that they don’t have to hurt themselves to get to a certain size. I just want to give you my slant on things. See, I lose weight when I’m stressed out, and I can’t help it. I know perfectly well that I look better when I’m say, 125 lb (I’m 5’7) than when I’m 115 lb, and it is a real struggle for me to find myself sexy and womanly, especially when my boobs are draped with loose skin. However, even though it’s a struggle, I eventually (sometimes it takes seconds, sometimes it takes longer) see the beauty and the feminine in my body no matter what size I am (I gave birth to Freddy in 2002 weighing 185 lb… I was really happy back then LOL). And I think that’s important, that no matter what size we are, it doesn’t mean we have to stay there, no, we just have to find a way to not only accept our bodies in that place, but love them in all their natural beauty and find peace and sexiness in that space.
    Suzy recently posted…Week in ReviewMy Profile

  • Emily February 21, 2017, 10:02 am

    So I’m really really thankful you posted this, and for your kindness is doing it without pictures; sometimes pictures just breed comparison? I love how healthy you are Meredith, both physically and mentally, and this is definitely an eye-opening encouraging post.
    Emily recently posted…How To Deal With Comparison at The Gym (Kat’s Story)My Profile

  • Amanda @ .running with spoons. February 21, 2017, 4:11 pm

    Definitely agree that we don’t really see ourselves the way we actually look, and that we just tend to place too much value on it in general. I’m not the same weight or shape that I was last year, and I imagine I won’t look the same a year from now. I feel like the more we stress about our food and workout routines, the more harm we actually do to our bodies. But when we just chill and focus on other things, even our weight has a habit of just finding it’s happy place.
    Amanda @ .running with spoons. recently posted…maple flax blueberry oatmeal muffinsMy Profile

  • n February 21, 2017, 6:17 pm

    Why does it always have to be what guys think/want? I actually hated the attention from men and in some ways it kept me sick.

    My eating disorder had nothing to do with trying to attract guys. There’s so much more to an eating disorder.

    I’ll stop there because it gets me really fired up and that’s not what I mean to do. (:

    • The Cookie ChRUNicles February 22, 2017, 5:51 am

      it’s certainly not about what guys want! it’s more about trying to provide every angle possible to help reach who I can to see that it’s okay to gain the needed weight back. I think everyone has different reasons for why they struggle with their body image or why they choose to fight for a specific size and weight. the guys in my life that offered their opinion meant well and it all clicked for me one day. I can only hope I helped someone else make it click too and from the messages i received, it seems i did which makes me happy. i apologize if i got you fired up 🙂

    • M February 23, 2017, 11:07 pm

      I agree and also developed my eating disorder and found comfort in it for the ways it kept men and sexuality AWAY (after being sexually abused for prolonged periods of time). I know Meredith is just trying to reach people with this angle, but it rings a bit hollow for me. I’m grateful to have recovered but still wish to disappear from men’s glances at times. Tricky territory, but great to do it for ourselves and for health and to live a long time and hopefully make a difference…to somebody. ♡

  • Samantha February 21, 2017, 6:33 pm

    This post really stuck with me and I was thinking about it hours after I read it this morning. You make a great point that guys don’t like women who are too thin. And there is a fine line between looking thin and healthy and thin and sickly. Personally I have been told that I’ve looked to thin before from guys and it always strikes me as odd until they further explain themselves about the subject. Im really glad that you posted this today!
    Samantha recently posted…What Running Has Taught Me.My Profile

    • The Cookie ChRUNicles February 22, 2017, 5:58 am

      aw thanks! even if it isn’t about what others think, i do believe that sometimes hearing these opinions can help girls to see that striving for an unhealthy size isn’t even attractive despite what the media portrays.

  • Rebecca Best February 25, 2017, 8:23 am

    Hi! I am a daily reader. While this post makes some valid points, I cringe every time I hear “Men don’t like……..” Some women are naturally thin and petite, some women are curvier. Neither one can help they way they are shaped. And, both are perfect! To say that men don’t like women who are too thin could be belittling to women who are, in fact, built thin. (This is not the case with me btw.) I know that your post was simply referring to women who are always trying to reach a new level of thin and I get that but it has the potential to make a woman reading feel less than. I love your blog, you are funny and articulate but this is one of my pet peeves.

    • The Cookie ChRUNicles February 25, 2017, 9:26 am

      Hi Rebecca! So glad you love the blog and shared your thoughts! I totally agree with you and am glad you understood who I was speaking to – there’s thin and then there’s unhealthy thin. The unhealthy thin is often super obvious, unnatural and well, unattractive. unfortunately girls struggle to see when they are unhealthy thin and strive to be as thin as possible, even if it means risking their period and their health. I think we all come in from various viewpoints based upon our experiences, this one for me was my experience. I was too thin, not getting my period and not seeing just how thin I was. one day it all clicked for me and these opinions really helped me. it’s really hard when we need to gain weight back and feel our clothing get tighter but learning to love your shape at a healthy size, whatever that size is, is what matters. my goal was to reach my readers who struggle with this. it seems that I did based upon the messages I received and I apologize if it came off in any way to offend you. that was certainly not my goal! have a great weekend!

  • Meghan@CleanEatsFastFeets February 25, 2017, 10:00 am

    While I don’t really care what men think or don’t think about my body (other than the Hubby), there’s definitely a point where people can be too thin and I appreciate the men in your life had the gonads to tell you about it. A lot of times women realize how sensitive a subject weight is, so they tend to shy away from it.

    Being too thin is just as unhealthy as being vastly overweight. I wish people could realize this, and I appreciate you getting the message out there.
    Meghan@CleanEatsFastFeets recently posted…Currently: February 2017My Profile

    • The Cookie ChRUNicles February 25, 2017, 10:21 am

      agreed! I never cared what anyone thought of me but when the people close to you share their thoughts to help, it’s sometimes important to listen to what they have to say.

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